You know, a lot of things have scared me in my life, but nothing like this.

I’ve always been a student, I’ve always had something to do the next day or the next month. 

But here I am.


This limbo I’m in after college is unreal.

Tomorrow I could get a phone call that will land me a job.

Or I couldn’t get one.

This is the first time in my entire life that I have nothing.

Don’t get me wrong. I have more than nothing- I have amazing family and friends.

I just graduated from college, I should be proud.

And I am.

But this terrifying ‘I have no idea where I am going’ feeling is the strongest and most paralyzing feeling I’ve ever felt.

Tomorrow may be the day.

Or maybe I’ll have to find a plan B.

Either way, this uncertainty is crippling.


10 thoughts on “Stuck.

  1. Absolute Mystery

    After reading your blogs; for quite literally the past 2 months; I fear I can no longer bottle this up inside. All around me I see… I see the world. I see it’s deep, deep corruption, but I also see the light – I see any and all things in between these polar opposite sides of the spectrum. But seeing you; a girl of unmeasurable beauty; a lady of insurmountable awareness, a woman who.. Dodges the rank of slut, hoe, and good for nothing skank- stands out to me as someone with seriously a 1 in a billion view on the world… And a seriously amazing and rare grasp on this crazy ass life that we have to live. I see you here worrying if you’ll get called back for a job – just wanted to say; it takes a long time to figure out where t

  2. Absolute Mystery

    **takes a long time to figure out what you want to do and where you want to do it. Just like you once did in the past at the beginning of college take every step of this journey as a lesson and how you may or may not need to stay at this one position to gain experience or you may realize this opportunity isn’t the one for you at this time. I see you physically adding the variable of stress to your equation of happiness and you just need to take things a little slower. The world
    Around you might pressure you but taking your time and the right approach is everything. I hope my words helped a little bit

      • Absolute Mystery

        I need you ; for my sanity’s sake and for the grand sake of humanity; to keep on keeping on. Need you to prove this world wrong. Need you to stand against the wind.. Stand against the grain and show everyone what you’re made of. If you don’t get this job don’t let it be a cataclysmic event. Just move on and keep searching. Life is about paitence.. It’s about rising above the bars that are set; it’s about defeating obstacles no matter what they are; a job, a boy. Friends and family issues. Stay strong and smart and I can gaurantee you’ll be successful and happy.
        I am a man who doesn’t get to express his words enough so an outlet like this one is marvelous and I should be thanking you.

    • Absolute Mystery

      I am humbled and overjoyed to have brought you the same feelings of inspiration and also happiness that you have brought me. Even at this super late twilight hour; I don’t think I would have been able to sleep tonight without portraying how I feel about you..
      Please beautiful Deanna; keep hope and faith in your heart. and don’t forget that epic wit and intellect you’ve got; weild these weapons appropriately and you’ll be as happy as a clam. (Never understood that saying…) don’t let the worlds pressure get you down.
      You’ll always be pressured that’s a fact. But how
      You act under this pressure is what defines you and helps you outline your success.

  3. Absolute Mystery

    It’s fun for me. Keep racking your brain and keep thinking. You’ll never figure it out. Maybe I’ll reveal myself down the line maybe I won’t. Keep writing and being extremely beautiful inside and out like you always have been; you’ll be just fine

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