Best kind.

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I absolutely love those friends you haven’t talked to in months or years and when you do, you go back.

Back to that time in your life when you were close.

I throughly enjoy that I have people I played volleyball with or was friends with that never really stopped being my friend.

Sure they aren’t in my everyday life, but I would still drop everything for those people.

Those friendships I know in 20 years I’ll still be able to call them up and go to lunch with them.

That is the best kind of friend.

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Best Friend.

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It dawned on me today. I finally figured out when it hit me you weren’t the one for me.

You told me I wasn’t you’re best friend. 

How were you in love with me if I wasn’t your best friend?

How could I possibly spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t consider me their best friend?

I couldn’t.

And I didn’t.

The person I am going to end up with will be my best friend and I will be his.

No ifs, ands, or butts.

Forgotten.

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Sometimes I feel completely taken advantage of. I drop everything for people and I don’t even get an ounce of care back.

I’m always the friend. I’m never the best friend or even the close friend.

I don’t understand what makes it so hard for people to get close to me. I don’t push them away.

I also don’t understand what makes it so hard to invite me along to do things with you. I constantly feel forgotten, unimportant.

I can’t get these thoughts out of my mind. I recently saw the true colors of who I thought was my best friend, this could all be the result of that. I can’t believe this would make me doubt all my other friendships too.