For the longest time growing up, I thought the one for me would find me. I thought he would come to me and I’d never second guess if he was it or not. It wasn’t until I became a little older that I realized I had a say in who I wanted to be with. It wasn’t until I matured that I saw that it was my choice and they had to work to impress me too.
In disney movies, the guy showed up and that was it. But I realized, that’s not how it works.
The guy shows up, you fall in love, and a year or three later, you see he isn’t it.
You see that you have the power to make that choice.
This week has been a rough week for me. I was beyond busy, upset about somethings, completely sleep deprived, confused, and got into a fight with one of my best friends. For the most part most things are better now but while all of this was happening I could not find a single thing to blog about. I suppose I realized angry blogging might not be the best idea. Or perhaps it was just I was too busy and tired. I do believe it would have helped me figure out some things in my head but some of my thoughts should not have been read by people I know.
I am so confused with boys. I keep trying to distance myself from them but I’ve recently met a few who have caught my eye. It seems to me the ones who I find intriguing don’t feel the same way back but there are boys who seem to want me who I don’t want back. Oh isn’t that how it always works? It drives me insane. I get that just because I find someone attractive does not mean that they should think the same way about me, but come on. If there really is a God, he sure does like to play games with a girl’s brain.
I feel so gross about myself. Since I had such a busy and bad week, I haven’t slept, gone to the gym, or eaten healthy at all. I can definitely tell the difference in how I feel and how my body feels. I can honestly say I am absolutely loving how being healthy makes me feel and I don’t think I’ll ever go back. One week off was way more than enough.