Choice.

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For the longest time growing up, I thought the one for me would find me. I thought he would come to me and I’d never second guess if he was it or not. It wasn’t until I became a little older that I realized I had a say in who I wanted to be with. It wasn’t until I matured that I saw that it was my choice and they had to work to impress me too.

In disney movies, the guy showed up and that was it. But I realized, that’s not how it works.

The guy shows up, you fall in love, and a year or three later, you see he isn’t it.

You see that you have the power to make that choice.

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Happy

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I’ve had an epiphany.

Happiness is choice.

Who cares if my friend is pissing me off. Who cares if the guy I like doesn’t feel the same way about me?

I can choose to be happy.

I’m lucky. I’ve got the most amazing family I could imagine. I have really great friends. I have a beautiful opportunity to be in school and go for my dreams.

How could I not be happy?

Sure, some things will go wrong. People will piss me off, school will frustrate me, there will be things I don’t understand. That shouldn’t rule my happiness. I should.

The little things make me happy. Thats all it takes.

I’ve fought depression. I’ve fought it and I’ve beat it. I’m not letting myself go back there. I chose to climb my way out of that hole and be happy. I refuse to fall down it again.

I don’t believe I’ll ever have to stop fighting. However, as long as I have the right outlook, I think it’ll become easier. I am lucky. I am happy.

Two Different Lives.

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“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Wayne Dyer

I think its crazy how different my life is now than it was just a few months ago. Oh how cliché I sound. I literally woke up one day and everything had changed. I used to be the homebody who sat in my dorm and studied. I would usually go home on the weekends, and when I didn’t I stayed in, most of the time by myself. I was happy in some aspects but my social life at school was almost non-existent except for my roommates. Now I’m always busy. I’m either studying, going to meetings, doing things for my clubs, or being with my friends. I still enjoy my alone time though. I am enjoying the usual college night life.

I am happy. I was happy then too. How is that possible? How is it possible that I’ve live two totally different lives and have been happy in each? I feel as if I was an entirely different person then, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Not in a bad way though. I’m always talking about change, I’ve had a lot recently. I just find it incredible that I can lead two different lives and love both of them and what they have brought me.

I’ve made choices that I never would have even thought about before. I look at life in an entirely new light.  A brighter light. I want something totally different out of life now. I’ve learned that happiness is not how you live your life, its how you feel about life. Everyday, you can choose to be happy.