And I love it.

Standard

images

 

Sometimes you become the person you never thought you would be. Sometimes its the person you hated, never understood, or never knew existed.

Its okay.

I believe things happen in everyone’s lives that change them. For good.

I will never be that person again. I will never feel that way about life again. I will never.

The person I used to be was amazing. But thats not me anymore.

I’ve had so many things happen to me that changed my views on life and love and sex and growing up and family and morals and happiness and goals and growing old. Thats normal.

I’m not going to look at the world the same way I did when I was 16. I’ve seen things and experienced things and felt things since then that has changed my life forever. That doesn’t mean who I am now is any less than who I was then. I’m just different.

I can’t go back. I don’t think I want to go back. My innocence is gone. I held on to if for a while but I couldn’t anymore. I’m growing up. I’m finding myself. Its not anywhere close to what I thought I’d find. Thats really beautiful, isn’t it?

I don’t look at life the same. I won’t see it the same in a few years and a few more after that. I have to remember that things change and when they do, so will my mind. I’m not that girl I was in high school or that girl I was eight months ago. I’ll never be again.

While I’m growing up, I’m also being irresponsible. I’m living up my life. I’m living in the moment. I’m having fun. I’m becoming more outgoing. I’m 20, I should be enjoying the last bit of my youth. And I am. I’m doing things that I shouldn’t be and learning so much about myself and life.

College really can change a girl. I’m becoming someone¬†unrecognizable. And I love it.

Advertisements

Happiness isn’t a destination.

Standard

If there was only one thing I could tell anyone, it would be to remember that happiness isn’t a destination.

Happiness isn’t the day you get that job, the day you meet the one, or the day you buy a house. Happiness is a state of mind. Once you get that job, you’ll want that house.

If goals are all that brings you happiness, you will not feel happy with yourself.

You have to look at what you have right now and appreciate it. It may not be what you’ve always wanted. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with it.

People think their happiness is based off this picture in their head of how life should be. Screw that picture. Life never ends up how it should. It would be kind of boring if it did.

Set goals and achieve them. Be proud and happy for them. But never ever let that control your happiness. Never let a person or a thing control your happiness.

Happiness is a choice. Embrace your life and what you have right now. You are lucky to have what you have, love it and be thrilled with the life you have given yourself.

Never give up on the thought that happiness is how you look at your life and yourself.

Enjoy every step of the journey

Aside

I spend my entire week working my ass of in school. I’m either in classes, studying, doing homework, or in meetings or other various events for school or clubs I am in. While my friends are around doing fun stuff, I’m locking myself in my room or parking my butt at the library and working hard.

I never complain about this. It is my choice to work as hard as I do to succeed. I know exactly what I want and I work everyday to get it.

My job is to be a student. I’ll save my social life for the weekends, if I have the time. I don’t need to spend everyday with my friends to feel like I’m cool or that I have a life. My true friends and I don’t need to spend everyday together in order to know we are close.

I am in college to get a degree to get my dream job. The social life is a beautiful bonus that I do take advantage of. But thats not why I’m here. I’m here to earn the A in that class, learn from experiences in clubs, and prepare myself for everything I’ve ever wanted. Being able to help people through my clubs is another beautiful bonus I am lucky to have.

I know too many people who view college as a playground and treat classes as if they aren’t important. I’m using college as a stepping stone to get where I’m going. If you’re not here for that reason, why are you here?

Image

Happiness

Standard

I am currently writing a paper on land ethic and how we should use the land we are given. I am so overwhelmed with thoughts about how we should use our time on earth as individuals that I must get it out through this blog before I word vomit all over this paper about something completely irrelevant.

I have come to realize that I am living this life for myself only. Yes, I have wonderful people in my life I’d do anything for. Ultimately I have to live to make myself happy. If I am not happy, how are the people around me supposed to be happy. I believe happiness, confidence, morality, friendship, outlooks on life, and much more are very contagious. If my friends are in a bad mood, it brings my mood down. I’ve seen my outlooks on life changed the outlooks of my friends. Even if only a little bit, it’s all contagious.

Okay whoa tangent. Back to what we should use our time here on. I have picked a profession in which I will not be rich and be able to take fancy vacations and buy whatever I want. I picked a profession that will make me happy. I learned a long time ago that money is not happiness.

For me, happiness has always been teaching. The moment that person finally gets something they have been struggling with or when someone understands something because of the way I explain it to them, that’s happiness to me.

Standing in my pool with my parents and brother chatting about life and nothing in particular or making shortbread with them around christmas, that’s happiness to me.

Sitting shotty in one of my best friend’s car serenading her or driving to the beach with another one of my best friends making my car shake from dancing in traffic, that’s happiness to me.

Tearing down a house just to build it back up for someone in need, that’s happiness to me.

Sitting in a stupid car for 18 damn hours every year to see my cousins and their laughs and watching them grow up, that’s happiness to me.

Learning about science, chemistry, anything really, that’s happiness to me.

I think every single person needs to really sit down and think what really makes them happy. My brother is an accountant. I do not know how I could ever do that with my life. But when I see him talk about it, I know that’s his happiness.

For every single person its going to be completely different. I could never expect someone to need or want the same things I want in life. Its their life, not mine. I think that’s what makes the world a beautiful and unique place.

I¬†also think that’s what makes the world sad too. Most people have no idea what actually makes them happy. I am in college for the sole reason that it will get me to be a teacher which will bring me happiness. Most people are here because society or their parents tell them they have to be.

I am one lucky person. I have an amazing home life, friends, and really have not had too much to deal with in my life. I could understand why people think it might be easy for me to be happy. This may be true. However, I really believe it’s because I know what makes me happy and I reach for that every single moment of my life.