I’ve always been someone who forgives, but second chances have always been hard. I have always given people that chance but it never really worked out. The person disappointed me or things were never the same again.
I gave someone a second chance too quickly and it turned out to be the biggest lesson I’ve ever learned in my life.
And here I am, years later, giving them another.
I decided there was no reason not to. The differences I’ve seen in my life over the past years are life changing. I believe that this could be the same for them.
I’ve decided to not look at it as a second chance, but to look at it as a new beginning.
Sometimes when I think about my past, I get so mad at myself. Why did I do this and what was I thinking when I did that? I get so lost in the moment sometimes and immediately after I wish I didn’t do it. But then I realized something. I can’t change what I did. I can’t change who I was. All I can do is learn from it. I can either choose to be different in the future, or choose to be the same. There is no point in dwelling on my mistakes. The past is the past, I can only move forward.
I would like to think that if I had the chance to live again, I would fix the mistakes I’ve made.
Back in high school when I hurt my best friend by saying something I never should have or when I slept with that guy for all the wrong reasons. I would like to think I wouldn’t do those things again. I never wanted to hurt my best friend and I never wanted to lose my virginity to a guy who couldn’t careless about me.
When just a few months ago I left the most amazing guy without even giving him a hint that I believed our relationship was struggling.
I’d like to think I wouldn’t do that again and that I would save these people, and myself, from pain and heartache.
But from these mistakes, I learned that once you break a friendship, it can’t be fixed. Once you lose your virginity, you can’t take it back. Once you break a heart or get your heart broken, it’ll never be the same, it’ll always be scarred.
I can honestly say every little decision I’ve made, whether poor and great, has shaped me into the person I am and has surrounded me with the people I have today. I wouldn’t change that for the world, even if I unfortunately had to hurt people along the way. You live, you learn.