Two Different Lives.

Standard

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” -Wayne Dyer

I think its crazy how different my life is now than it was just a few months ago. Oh how cliché I sound. I literally woke up one day and everything had changed. I used to be the homebody who sat in my dorm and studied. I would usually go home on the weekends, and when I didn’t I stayed in, most of the time by myself. I was happy in some aspects but my social life at school was almost non-existent except for my roommates. Now I’m always busy. I’m either studying, going to meetings, doing things for my clubs, or being with my friends. I still enjoy my alone time though. I am enjoying the usual college night life.

I am happy. I was happy then too. How is that possible? How is it possible that I’ve live two totally different lives and have been happy in each? I feel as if I was an entirely different person then, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Not in a bad way though. I’m always talking about change, I’ve had a lot recently. I just find it incredible that I can lead two different lives and love both of them and what they have brought me.

I’ve made choices that I never would have even thought about before. I look at life in an entirely new light.  A brighter light. I want something totally different out of life now. I’ve learned that happiness is not how you live your life, its how you feel about life. Everyday, you can choose to be happy.

Advertisements

I am free.

Aside

I got a lot of positive feedback on my most titled alone. It seemed to be a topic a lot of people related to and agreed with me on. I am very passionate about my view on this and I’d like to share with you more about why.

Image

Image

ImageImage

Image

Image

Image

I really want to focus talking about that last picture. I’m 20 years old, since I’ve been 20 I’ve changed my entire outlook on life. I’m not exaggerating, my entire outlook. Things I wanted before I don’t want anymore. Things I never even thought of, I could die for today. I’m much more relaxed, over drama, keeping to myself, enjoying what life throws at me. To put it simply I’m maturing. I think twenties is the decade that people really find out who they are. Its not when we are teenagers as most people think, its at this age. We are being thrown into the real world and becoming independent and we can finally decide what we want. Not what our parents want, but what we want. Most of all, twenties is the time to be selfish and have fun. I’ve joined so many groups and clubs this year to help other people and fulfil what I think I owe to the world. My helping and loving hands. I’ve realized so many things that are different now. I want to join the peace corps, I want to blow all my money and travel the world, I want enjoy every minute of this time in my life that I can. I am not living anybody’s life but my own. I’m living for myself only. That is so beautiful and liberating to me. There is never a better time in a person’s life to go do everything they want to do than in their twenties. I’m being selfish while I can, I’m enjoying the fact that I’m not tied down. I am free. Nobody is holding me back. I am free.

You’re not worth it.

Standard

I’m opinionated. I have a lot to say. I have a blog for heaven’s sake. I’ll tell you what I think and I couldn’t care less if you agree or not. I’m outspoken and I can be obnoxious when I’m hyper. I like to have fun. If you don’t agree with me and the way I live my life, fine. I don’t care how other people live their lives, so why would I care what you think about how I live mine? You have no right to get pissed at me for being myself and sharing my opinion. I never said you had to agree with me, I don’t even expect you to. You are who you are and I am who I am. We are two different people, why are you getting mad at me for thinking differently than you? I think life is beautiful and I want to take advantage of every moment of it. You can live however you want, but don’t you dare tell me how to live my life. I’m not apologizing this time, I swallowed my pride for you too many times already. You’ve never been a good friend to me and you’re just not worth it to me anymore

Image

ImageImageImage

I’m sorry.

Aside

I have nothing to be mad about. I have nothing to hate you for. I have no excuse for why it didn’t work out. I have absolutely nothing that tells me you weren’t perfect for me. How am I supposed to move on? All I have is that one week I woke up feeling different that I had any other day the past three years. All I have is that I acted on impulse. All I have is a phone call that completely altered my entire life. I don’t remember what I felt or why I did what I did. I remember how you treated me, how happy you made me, and how you loved me. Am I remembering it better than it was? For a while after, I was confident I made the right decision. Am I forgetting why I made this decision? All I’m thinking tonight is that I ended something wonderful because I was too stubborn and scared to work it out. I felt trapped, so why didn’t I just ask for room? I can’t change what I did. It was my decision. I thought I had moved on, only to be more confused now than I was the day after. I miss you more everyday. I’m sorry.

 

Alone.

Standard

I have recently become a huge advocate for independence. I don’t want anyone to think I don’t believe in love or want love. But I don’t believe in it or want it yet. I’m entirely too young to get caught up in a life consuming relationship. I believe that being single and alone helps you find out who you truly are. I am an entirely different person when I am in a relationship. More people need to realize what a good, healthy, and happy relationship looks like. Love should be extraordinary. You need to love yourself before you can expect anyone to love you. In order to love yourself, you must know yourself. I believe in order to know yourself, you must spend time with yourself. More women need to know they don’t need a man to be happy or successful. I know most people are never going to agree with me. They are probably in relationships, or never been in a good one. If you are in a relationship, make sure you are getting everything you deserve. Here are some amazing picture quotes I found to help support my thoughts.

ImageImage

Image
ImageImage

Image

ImageImageImageImage