Happiness

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I am currently writing a paper on land ethic and how we should use the land we are given. I am so overwhelmed with thoughts about how we should use our time on earth as individuals that I must get it out through this blog before I word vomit all over this paper about something completely irrelevant.

I have come to realize that I am living this life for myself only. Yes, I have wonderful people in my life I’d do anything for. Ultimately I have to live to make myself happy. If I am not happy, how are the people around me supposed to be happy. I believe happiness, confidence, morality, friendship, outlooks on life, and much more are very contagious. If my friends are in a bad mood, it brings my mood down. I’ve seen my outlooks on life changed the outlooks of my friends. Even if only a little bit, it’s all contagious.

Okay whoa tangent. Back to what we should use our time here on. I have picked a profession in which I will not be rich and be able to take fancy vacations and buy whatever I want. I picked a profession that will make me happy. I learned a long time ago that money is not happiness.

For me, happiness has always been teaching. The moment that person finally gets something they have been struggling with or when someone understands something because of the way I explain it to them, that’s happiness to me.

Standing in my pool with my parents and brother chatting about life and nothing in particular or making shortbread with them around christmas, that’s happiness to me.

Sitting shotty in one of my best friend’s car serenading her or driving to the beach with another one of my best friends making my car shake from dancing in traffic, that’s happiness to me.

Tearing down a house just to build it back up for someone in need, that’s happiness to me.

Sitting in a stupid car for 18 damn hours every year to see my cousins and their laughs and watching them grow up, that’s happiness to me.

Learning about science, chemistry, anything really, that’s happiness to me.

I think every single person needs to really sit down and think what really makes them happy. My brother is an accountant. I do not know how I could ever do that with my life. But when I see him talk about it, I know that’s his happiness.

For every single person its going to be completely different. I could never expect someone to need or want the same things I want in life. Its their life, not mine. I think that’s what makes the world a beautiful and unique place.

I also think that’s what makes the world sad too. Most people have no idea what actually makes them happy. I am in college for the sole reason that it will get me to be a teacher which will bring me happiness. Most people are here because society or their parents tell them they have to be.

I am one lucky person. I have an amazing home life, friends, and really have not had too much to deal with in my life. I could understand why people think it might be easy for me to be happy. This may be true. However, I really believe it’s because I know what makes me happy and I reach for that every single moment of my life.

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Dating

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I think the current dating world is so messed up. What happened to when guy approached you and asked you out to dinner and a movie? All anyone ever does now a days is hang out. Or guys just hit on you at parties and try to stick their tongues in your mouth. No, I’m a woman and I deserve respect. I want the guy to open my door and pay for my dinner not open the bottle of alcohol he paid for. Where did the chivarly go? I don’t want to be hit on over facebook or booty called over text messages. I’ve said I’m not sure I believe in love, especially at my age, but I don’t think this dating world is right. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not just bashing the men. I know plenty of girls who send nude pictures and use their bodies for lots of things. I think I’m an old soul, I want to dress like I’m in the twenty’s and maybe even date in that way too.

Why?

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I constantly wonder why I, or anyone really, is here living on the earth and doing what we are doing. I work my ass off at school and my job so that I can eventually work my ass off at my “dream job”

If you think about it, thats what we all do with most of our lives.

But why? So we can eat food, have a house, and buy some things we like.

I’m a very happy and optimistic person. However when I think about this, I really start to think about my insignificance in the world. I’m one of what six or seven billion people on this planet right now. Thats just this planet (yes I believe there are more places with people just like us in this universe). I will live for less than a 100 years on an Earth that is thousands of years old.

I picked a profession where I will be able to change other people’s lives and that is truly something I take pride in. But if I think on a large scale, it just all seems crazy to me.

Sure we spend our weekends and sometimes nights enjoying ourselves, but for me I’m usually always going to class and doing homework. All of that is to get the A I want so that I can plop it on a resume and hope they think I’m good enough for the job.

Once I get the job, I spend 40+ hours a week doing this job, so that I can enjoy the very little time I have away from work.

I really do not know where I am going with this. I think all I’m trying to question is why do we aim to succeed when in a hundred years from now, its not going to matter? Sure we’ll be happy because we did what we thought we were supposed to do. Our parents will die happy and proud. Our children will hopefully inspire to be like us. But after that? I just don’t know.

My parents, my brother, all my other family, and my friends. They all love me and we affect eachother lives daily. Every person in my life brings me happiness. I hope to always bring them happiness as well.

If I had to chose why we live on this earth, I really couldn’t tell you. We all affect eachother in ways I don’t think we’ll ever realize.

I guess tonight you could say I’m feeling like a small piece in a big world. I think we should all remember that sometimes instead of thinking everything is about ourselves.