Learn

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My life has been crazy and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

But looking back, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. 

Yesterday I was pondering if I had wasted my time with some things and I realized the answer was no.

Even if it doesn’t seem like it affected my life or taught me anything, it did.

Nothing is a waste of time.

I tell my students that all the time.

Every single thing in a person’s life is a learning experience. Whether its school, their love life, social life, sports. Anything and everything. There is never a second that goes by where we don’t learn something new.

How is that not the coolest thing?

Happy

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I’ve had an epiphany.

Happiness is choice.

Who cares if my friend is pissing me off. Who cares if the guy I like doesn’t feel the same way about me?

I can choose to be happy.

I’m lucky. I’ve got the most amazing family I could imagine. I have really great friends. I have a beautiful opportunity to be in school and go for my dreams.

How could I not be happy?

Sure, some things will go wrong. People will piss me off, school will frustrate me, there will be things I don’t understand. That shouldn’t rule my happiness. I should.

The little things make me happy. Thats all it takes.

I’ve fought depression. I’ve fought it and I’ve beat it. I’m not letting myself go back there. I chose to climb my way out of that hole and be happy. I refuse to fall down it again.

I don’t believe I’ll ever have to stop fighting. However, as long as I have the right outlook, I think it’ll become easier. I am lucky. I am happy.

Enjoy every step of the journey

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I spend my entire week working my ass of in school. I’m either in classes, studying, doing homework, or in meetings or other various events for school or clubs I am in. While my friends are around doing fun stuff, I’m locking myself in my room or parking my butt at the library and working hard.

I never complain about this. It is my choice to work as hard as I do to succeed. I know exactly what I want and I work everyday to get it.

My job is to be a student. I’ll save my social life for the weekends, if I have the time. I don’t need to spend everyday with my friends to feel like I’m cool or that I have a life. My true friends and I don’t need to spend everyday together in order to know we are close.

I am in college to get a degree to get my dream job. The social life is a beautiful bonus that I do take advantage of. But thats not why I’m here. I’m here to earn the A in that class, learn from experiences in clubs, and prepare myself for everything I’ve ever wanted. Being able to help people through my clubs is another beautiful bonus I am lucky to have.

I know too many people who view college as a playground and treat classes as if they aren’t important. I’m using college as a stepping stone to get where I’m going. If you’re not here for that reason, why are you here?

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Why?

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I constantly wonder why I, or anyone really, is here living on the earth and doing what we are doing. I work my ass off at school and my job so that I can eventually work my ass off at my “dream job”

If you think about it, thats what we all do with most of our lives.

But why? So we can eat food, have a house, and buy some things we like.

I’m a very happy and optimistic person. However when I think about this, I really start to think about my insignificance in the world. I’m one of what six or seven billion people on this planet right now. Thats just this planet (yes I believe there are more places with people just like us in this universe). I will live for less than a 100 years on an Earth that is thousands of years old.

I picked a profession where I will be able to change other people’s lives and that is truly something I take pride in. But if I think on a large scale, it just all seems crazy to me.

Sure we spend our weekends and sometimes nights enjoying ourselves, but for me I’m usually always going to class and doing homework. All of that is to get the A I want so that I can plop it on a resume and hope they think I’m good enough for the job.

Once I get the job, I spend 40+ hours a week doing this job, so that I can enjoy the very little time I have away from work.

I really do not know where I am going with this. I think all I’m trying to question is why do we aim to succeed when in a hundred years from now, its not going to matter? Sure we’ll be happy because we did what we thought we were supposed to do. Our parents will die happy and proud. Our children will hopefully inspire to be like us. But after that? I just don’t know.

My parents, my brother, all my other family, and my friends. They all love me and we affect eachother lives daily. Every person in my life brings me happiness. I hope to always bring them happiness as well.

If I had to chose why we live on this earth, I really couldn’t tell you. We all affect eachother in ways I don’t think we’ll ever realize.

I guess tonight you could say I’m feeling like a small piece in a big world. I think we should all remember that sometimes instead of thinking everything is about ourselves.