And I love it.

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Sometimes you become the person you never thought you would be. Sometimes its the person you hated, never understood, or never knew existed.

Its okay.

I believe things happen in everyone’s lives that change them. For good.

I will never be that person again. I will never feel that way about life again. I will never.

The person I used to be was amazing. But thats not me anymore.

I’ve had so many things happen to me that changed my views on life and love and sex and growing up and family and morals and happiness and goals and growing old. Thats normal.

I’m not going to look at the world the same way I did when I was 16. I’ve seen things and experienced things and felt things since then that has changed my life forever. That doesn’t mean who I am now is any less than who I was then. I’m just different.

I can’t go back. I don’t think I want to go back. My innocence is gone. I held on to if for a while but I couldn’t anymore. I’m growing up. I’m finding myself. Its not anywhere close to what I thought I’d find. Thats really beautiful, isn’t it?

I don’t look at life the same. I won’t see it the same in a few years and a few more after that. I have to remember that things change and when they do, so will my mind. I’m not that girl I was in high school or that girl I was eight months ago. I’ll never be again.

While I’m growing up, I’m also being irresponsible. I’m living up my life. I’m living in the moment. I’m having fun. I’m becoming more outgoing. I’m 20, I should be enjoying the last bit of my youth. And I am. I’m doing things that I shouldn’t be and learning so much about myself and life.

College really can change a girl. I’m becoming someone¬†unrecognizable. And I love it.

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Let’s talk about sex

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I think the most interesting thing about sex is the different levels people care about it. Some people will sleep with anybody they see, some people will have sex with someone after they know them for so long, some people will only have sex if they’re in love, and some people hold out until they’re married. The reason I find this is so odd is because, yes people hold out for moral reasons or self conscious reasons, but why? (I’m not saying I don’t do the same thing) But why do we believe that we should wait until we find someone we love to have sex? In the world, I’d say we are the only animal who believes sex is sacred and think of it as something other than it really is. I do not think anybody is wrong with their beliefs, I can see everyone’s side. I do however find it very interesting that we live in a world where it does mean so much. I guess that same thing could be said about a lot of things in our lives, such as looks, money, and technology. I suppose this is just another part of human psychology I find¬†fascinating.