What would I do?

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If you are a regular reader, you know how I’ve preached the benefits and my love for the single life. I got to thinking, what if I actually meet someone who makes me want to leave the single life behind. Do I stick to my guns and remain in this life of freedom and finding myself. Or do I give in and see what this potential person has to offer?

I don’t ever want to miss an opportunity. I have said no in my life and missed things. I don’t want to miss anything. Whether it be because of my┬ápreconceived┬ánotions on love or just the fact that I’m scared.

But I really believe in the beauty of being with yourself and loving yourself. I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship. But I think if I meet someone special enough, I might be.

I guess that I’ll be ready for a relationship when I find someone worth spending my time with. I’m not going to go looking. But if he shows up or has shown up, I think I’ll be ready.

I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I’m not looking for anything. But if I meet someone who makes me feel something, I would have to say I’d go for it.

Maybe that makes me a hypocrite. Maybe that makes everything I’ve said not valid. But if the opportunity comes knocking, I would at least put a crack in the door, not keep it locked as I would have before.

Maybe it’s because I’ve moved on. Hell yes! No, I don’t think it’s that.

Maybe it’s because I’m lonely. No, I’m completely happy being by myself.

Maybe enough time has passed and I am finally out of my dark hole.

Whatever it is, it seems to me my views have changed. Maybe someone has made me see that. Maybe seeing happy couples have put faith back into my soul.

I’m not looking. I’m not hoping. I’m not expecting.

But if someone comes along, I’ll be ready.

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I am free.

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I got a lot of positive feedback on my most titled alone. It seemed to be a topic a lot of people related to and agreed with me on. I am very passionate about my view on this and I’d like to share with you more about why.

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I really want to focus talking about that last picture. I’m 20 years old, since I’ve been 20 I’ve changed my entire outlook on life. I’m not exaggerating, my entire outlook. Things I wanted before I don’t want anymore. Things I never even thought of, I could die for today. I’m much more relaxed, over drama, keeping to myself, enjoying what life throws at me. To put it simply I’m maturing. I think twenties is the decade that people really find out who they are. Its not when we are teenagers as most people think, its at this age. We are being thrown into the real world and becoming independent and we can finally decide what we want. Not what our parents want, but what we want. Most of all, twenties is the time to be selfish and have fun. I’ve joined so many groups and clubs this year to help other people and fulfil what I think I owe to the world. My helping and loving hands. I’ve realized so many things that are different now. I want to join the peace corps, I want to blow all my money and travel the world, I want enjoy every minute of this time in my life that I can. I am not living anybody’s life but my own. I’m living for myself only. That is so beautiful and liberating to me. There is never a better time in a person’s life to go do everything they want to do than in their twenties. I’m being selfish while I can, I’m enjoying the fact that I’m not tied down. I am free. Nobody is holding me back. I am free.

Alone.

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I have recently become a huge advocate for independence. I don’t want anyone to think I don’t believe in love or want love. But I don’t believe in it or want it yet. I’m entirely too young to get caught up in a life consuming relationship. I believe that being single and alone helps you find out who you truly are. I am an entirely different person when I am in a relationship. More people need to realize what a good, healthy, and happy relationship looks like. Love should be extraordinary. You need to love yourself before you can expect anyone to love you. In order to love yourself, you must know yourself. I believe in order to know yourself, you must spend time with yourself. More women need to know they don’t need a man to be happy or successful. I know most people are never going to agree with me. They are probably in relationships, or never been in a good one. If you are in a relationship, make sure you are getting everything you deserve. Here are some amazing picture quotes I found to help support my thoughts.

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First of all, today marks the end of the first month of my blog! I cannot believe its been a month already, thank you to all who read and all my followers!!

I’ve come to the realization lately that my brain and emotions are all over the place. I always have known this about myself, but since I’ve started writing out my thoughts, its really beginning to show even more. Tonight I’m feeling a little down. I’m pretty sick of people assuming things about me and constantly joking about things that happened in the past. They just don’t matter, move on. I’m sick of being the butt of every joke. My insecurities are running wild. Yesterday I felt great about myself and today just the opposite. I think I am still getting used to being single. I’ve got to realize that no, not every guy I think is cute is going to think I’m cute back. Its hard to except the fact that nobody wants you when you just came out of something where they were in love with you. I guess. I don’t really know. I think I’m being a hypocrite. It takes a lot for me to admit that. I don’t want a relationship but I want someone to want me, how is that fair? Its not. I guess it’d just be nice to know I caught someone’s eye. Especially if its not just with my body but with who I am. Its like that song “I want you to want me”.

Change

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I realize I talk about change a lot. I think it may be because in my life right now I am going through a lot of changes. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a boyfriend or seeking someone. I made the decision a few months ago that I would remain totally single and carefree for a long time.

So far I have being having the time of my life and loving my independence. It is still all very new to me. Its weird that when I come back home at night, I dont have someone to talk to until I fall asleep. I’m not saying I miss that or want that, its just not my normal. Nothing about this life is.

I am more in love with myself than ever. I don’t need or want a man to be the reason I feel good about myself. Since I have decided to be carefree, I am so much more fun. I’m more outgoing and can be pretty obnoxious, but I am enjoying every last second of it. The changes in my life have made me learn so much about myself. I want to feel this way about myself and life forever.

Single

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“Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life” -Omkar Phatak

I found this quote when I recently became single. It pretty much summed up the reason I wanted to be single. I realized that I am the only person who can make me happy. I’m not planning my life around someone else. I’m planning my life for me. I don’t need or want someone to complete me, make me happy, or make me feel like something special. When I was younger, I always thought I’d settle down young. However now, I want to be single for quite a while. I don’t want someone to support me. I want to support myself. There is so much I want to do. There is so much I want to accomplish. I personally believe that will only happen if I’m single and living for myself only.