Adult

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This is the craziest week. I have gotten two calls for interviews this week for teaching.

Like for my big kid real life job.

I cannot even wrap my head around it. Student teaching has been a whirlwind and I know without a doubt teaching is where I am supposed to be. However, I cannot believe I’m at this stage in my life.

I just took a moment because I was tearing up with happiness.

All the work I’ve put in. All the sleepless nights, doubts, and mental break downs, they’ve brought me here. If I feel like this now I cannot even imagine how I am going to feel when (if) I get a job.

Every once in a while a student will ask me what my last day is and are generally sad that I won’t be around the whole year. No better feeling than that.

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Come back.

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Wow, its been so long since I’ve written. I’m blissfully happy in a relationship and quite frankly haven’t needed this blog to sort out my feelings. But I miss writing. I miss sitting down and having no idea what I’m going to say and just end up writing things I didn’t even know I felt. I want to make a come back.

This will probably be a whole lot different than how I wrote in the past. Getting over a break up and finding myself.

I am going to start my journey in the professional world. This time next week, I will have my first official day as a student teacher. Its probably the most exciting, nerve-wracking, incredible feeling I’ve ever had. I cannot believe its finally here. I’ve worked 3 1/2 years for this and its here. The beginning of my adult life is starting in a week.

And I have no idea how to feel about that. 

I hope you come on my journey to find out.

Future

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I just read my best friend’s blog entry about how she wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted once she graduated from college. I have been lucky enough to know I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was a little girl. While I may know the career I will choose after I graduate, what about the other stuff?

I always assumed I’d meet the man of my dreams and we’d have tons of babies and live happily ever after. I seem to now think thats all just a fantasy. I think everyday I go back and forth. One day I think I want to fall in love, get married, and extend the family farther and other days I think I’d rather just enjoy my life with the friends and family I already have.

I really don’t think I can chose today. While I want to be single right now, who knows what I’ll want five or ten years from now, my life will be entirely different. The same thing can be said if I do find someone worth spending time with. How am I supposed to know what and who will make me happy twenty or fourty years from now? I think I may have just understood why people get divorced. I understand the feeling of waking up and realizing you don’t like who you are in this relationship. Hell, I don’t like myself in a relationship ever. I get needy and clingy and a whole lot less fun.

I cannot even decide where I’d like to live. Because of teacher ceritificates it would be easiest to stay in good ol’ PA. Something tells me I should be living in California or something. Will I rent an apartment or a house? How invovled will I get in my students lives, will I coach volleyball or be on the dance commitee? Will I convert to all organic like I’ve always wanted? I guess I won’t know until it happens.

I guess if I had to decide what I wanted for my life after I graduate, its just to be happy. There is no way to know what will make me happy in the future. I only know what will make me happy now, and that is how I plan to live.