Stuck.

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You know, a lot of things have scared me in my life, but nothing like this.

I’ve always been a student, I’ve always had something to do the next day or the next month. 

But here I am.

Stuck.

This limbo I’m in after college is unreal.

Tomorrow I could get a phone call that will land me a job.

Or I couldn’t get one.

This is the first time in my entire life that I have nothing.

Don’t get me wrong. I have more than nothing- I have amazing family and friends.

I just graduated from college, I should be proud.

And I am.

But this terrifying ‘I have no idea where I am going’ feeling is the strongest and most paralyzing feeling I’ve ever felt.

Tomorrow may be the day.

Or maybe I’ll have to find a plan B.

Either way, this uncertainty is crippling.

Now.

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It may be a month late, but I’ve discovered my new year’s resolution. Something I want to do for the rest of my life. I need to begin to live in the present. Cliche, I know. Forget the past, forget the future. Live for now. I spent the majority of my last relationship wishing, hoping, and waiting for the future that I didn’t even enjoy what I had at the time. I’ve spent countless nights worrying about my past. While yes the past has made me who I am, I do not need to dwell on it. I am happy where I am today. I have exactly what I want. I don’t need to worry about tomorrow or next month or next year, I need to worry about today and right now. It is all that matters.

Who?

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Food for thought. Since “the end of the world” is tomorrow, I thought this picture was a perfect question. What if it really was? Would you be happy with how you spent it? Would there be anything you wish you would have said? Or done? Is there someone you wish you would have kissed? Or told how you feel? Sometimes we don’t have as much time as we think we do.